An Occurrence at Merliot Falls
by Thobbit
Summary: Simon is missing from his hotel, and so is the Doctor. River Tam and River Song have to team up to find them. Jack shows up too, eventually. Totally for fun, slight OOCness.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Less formal summary:** _/311/ _**meets** _.com/art/Innuendos-in-Space-209360906, _**but mainly just the Rivers.**

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River woke up, grabbed her gun from the nightstand, and pointed it at the figure the doorway. Standing there was a girl in a disheveled pink dress with straggly brown hair and what River had to admit were very nice boots. Despite her light build, she had clearly just kicked the door in, and River could tell she had a dancer's balance.

"Where's Simon?" the girl demanded, undeterred by the gun.

River glanced around the room, taking stock of her surroundings. It was unfamiliar, though pleasant enough, and the cheesy impersonality of the furniture suggested a hotel. Why was she in a hotel? Her brain, catching up, answered that she and the Doctor had had a couple drinks, and decided to rent a room for the hell of it. A room with a single large bed. In which she was alone.

"I don't know," she said, hoping the girl would go away. "Where's the Doctor?" River's glance of the room passed over a hat on the nightstand opposite her, and a breath caught in her throat. Much as she tried, he wouldn't have left the fez if it wasn't important. And this girl was obviously missing someone as well.

"When did Simon disappear?" she asked the girl, lowering her gun. "Why are you looking for him in here? And who are you?"

"Last night, I don't know, I should have watched him, but I had to help the cows, they needed to see the sky." She sniffed, and suddenly seemed dangerously close to tears. River wondered whether she was quite stable. "I'm searching the building, but he hasn't appeared within the parameters. Or Kaylee."

River put her gun back on the nightstand and asked more gently, "What's your name, sweetie?"

"River Tam," said the girl. "Has your Doctor gone, too? Simon's a doctor, maybe they're together." Suddenly she changed manner completely, looking at River as if she were insane. Briefly, River wondered whether she was wearing the same expression, and tried to make her face neutral. The girl's name sounded oddly familiar. "Why are you holding the sheet to your chest?"she, the other River, asked. "You are wearing presentable clothing."

River looked down at her other hand, the one that hadn't grabbed the gun. She was indeed holding the bedsheet to her chest, presumably a reflex action upon waking. And—she peeked underneath—she was also wearing the same clothing she'd had on yesterday. It looked rumpled and unwashed.

"Damn that man," she muttered. "I get him drunk, and _still—_" She cut off, aware of the girl's curious gaze. Sliding out of bed, she said, "My name is River as well. River Song. Nice to meet you." River held out a hand to shake, but the girl just stared at it. Turning the motion into a swipe towards the nightstand, she slid her gun into her waistband and examined the girl. Her first impression of a dancer had been right, but moving closer, she could see the intelligence in her eyes, and the battle there with some sort of madness.

"How were you conducting your search?" she inquired.

"I was just looking at the rooms," the girl replied promptly. "They were all empty but this one. This is last."

River did remember choosing the farthest room in the hallway. She knew some people were disturbed by screaming. She shook her head to clear the morning cobwebs. "Look," she addressed the girl, "do you mind if I call you 'Tam'? To avoid confusion. You can call me Song if you'd like."

The girl nodded seriously. "Yes, we can't have two Rivers. Only one river in the forest. That's the only water. But the song is music. A tune, a melody. Always singing, always running. Always backwards. Maybe, sometimes. And yes."

River was taken aback. "Are you an empath?" she asked curiously. "Or suffer visions?" She thought back on what the girl had said. "Oh, yes, then. So Tam is okay?"

"Yes, I said already" Tam replied impatiently. Her moods seemed to change with every passing second. "Help me, we can look for your Doctor, too. But let's go now, we have to find Simon!" With that, she turned and ran out of the room. River looked around in quick confusion and followed.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: So sorry this took so long, I was busy and distracted and had trouble making Kaylee sound right. But reviews motivate me to write more! *nudge nudge wink wink* Thanks for reading!_

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**Chapter 2**

Downstairs was quiet. The stairwell opened into a foyer at the front of the hotel, where a thick red carpet did its best to hide a scuffed plank floor. Nobody was at the front desk either, though everything was in place. Even the stationary, with its ostentatiously designed logo of '_Merliot Falls Inn_', was neatly stacked.

"Over here!" Tam's voice came from the hall to the left. River walked over, and met the girl at a large wooden door. There was a sign on it declaring he room beyond to be the "_Ye Olde Merliot Lounge and Alehouse_".

"It's locked," complained Tam.

"And the soundproofing is on," River added, gesturing at a flowing red dot by the handle.

"Why would it be soundproofed?" asked the girl.

"Oh, you know, in case of exceptionally big parties," River smiled reminiscently. "I've had it a few times myself, though once or twice it was so nobody would hear the shots." She looked over at Tam, who seemed unperturbed by this disclosure. River shrugged mentally. The girl was definitely odd. She pulled out her gun and leveled it at the door. "So let's see what's inside, shall we?"

The shot was loud in the silent hotel, for all that it was a simple energy burst. This was mostly because the door, not built to withstand anything above maybe a kick, exploded into the room. It made little difference to the occupants, because the floor of the barroom was already littered with debris, and all the would-be carousers were dead or unconscious.

"Kaylee!" Tam cried suddenly, and ran across the room to kneel beside a young woman slumped against the wall. Her bright teal jacket and flowered cargo pants were dyed red with the blood leaking from a gash in her side, and she was unconscious.

River hastily stowed her gun in her belt and grabbed a handful of napkins from the bar. "Here," she said, handing them to Tam, who was already easing the young woman's jacket from her shoulders. "Staunch the wound, bind it with–" Casting around the room, her eyes lit upon a tattered tablecloth. "With this," she finished, ripping off a strip and passing it down.

The woman stirred and opened her eyes. "R-River?" she quavered, pain in her voice. She struggled to sit upright. "Simon–"

"Sh sh," Tam scolded gently, pushing her expertly down. "It's okay. I need to bind your stomach, Kaylee. You have to stay still."

Kaylee relaxed against the wall. "River," she said bemusedly, "you even know how to do this?"

"I've watched Simon repeatedly," Tam assured. River, checking the other bodies, raised a skeptical eyebrow. Not the most comforting statement where heavy bleeding was concerned, though with this girl it might just be true.

"All dead or unconscious," she announced, returning from her circuit of the lounge. "Nobody else will be waking for at least another hour." She knelt on Kaylee's other side. Surreptitiously checking the improvised bandages, she noted that Tam had bound the wound with the skill of a practiced field surgeon.

"Can you tell us what happened?" she asked Kaylee. "You were attacked?" River's mind raced. This was supposed to be a humans-only zone, but whoever had done it, she would bet her genes the Doctor had somehow gotten into the middle of the conflict.

"Yes, where's Simon?" Tam added urgently. "You were supposed to be with him."

"They took him, River, I don't know where–"

"Who took him?" River interrupted. "Could you start at the beginning please?"

Kaylee eyed her suspiciously. "Who're you?" she demanded, surprisingly strongly for someone who'd been leaking blood for hours. "You ain't no Alliance patrol, or local police either."

River wished for some psychic paper, but before she could respond, Tam piped up, "It's okay, Kaylee, this is River Song. She's looking for someone, too, her Doctor."

"That's funny," said Kaylee, " 'cause those guys were lookin' for a doctor too."

"What guys?" River asked with a growing feeling of dread. "The beginning."

"Alright," Kaylee replied, still sagged against the wall. " Me 'n' Simon came in for a drink, after seeing the waterfall, at about, I dunno, nine? It was fair crowded, we was chatting, then suddenly a bunch of goons blast in from outside." She gestured weakly towards a pair of large glass doors, now reduced to pieces, that opened to a porch overlooking a scenic plain.

"What did they look like?" River questioned.

"Dunno, they never took off their helmets," responded Kaylee. "They were wearing some sort of weird armor, blue an' silver, and all their voices sounded the same."

River cursed. "Sontarans. Of course. Why can't that man ever go anywhere without an alien invasion? He must plan it! 'Peaceful vacation' my–" She broke off under the combined amazed stares of the two girls.

"There's no such thing as aliens," Kaylee ventured a bit timidly. She turned her head to Tam and asked in an undertone that River was clearly not meant to hear, "River, is this woman all right? She seems a bit..." she tried to raise her arm to her head, gave up halfway, and circled one finger by her shoulder instead. River stifled a smile. She'd been called worse things than 'cookoo'.

"Back on topic, Kaylee," she insisted. "What did the Sont—the armored men want? Did they say why they shot you all up?"

"They shot up the bar a bit when they came in," Kaylee continued obediently. "Few people got hurt, then. They had some sort of lasers. When ev'ryone stopped yellin', they started askin' for a doctor. 'Where is the doctor?' they kept sayin', prodding people with guns. So Simon stands up—we'd both hit the floor when they came in–and said he was a doctor, an' did they need help?" She paused, and coughed a little, clutching her bandaged side.

"Do you need water?" Tam asked anxiously.

"I'm fine," said Kaylee unconvincingly. "Listen, River, when Simon said he was a doctor, one of the goons said he was under arrest." Tam gasped, horrified, but Kaylee went on. "But it weren't Alliance, they said 'fer crimes against the something Empire'. It might've been Sontaran, Miz Song," she conceded, turning to River.

River nodded, resting her hand on her gun. Sontarans...

"But what happened to Simon?" Tam asked persistently.

"Two of them grabbed him, an' they were just about to take him off when another man ran in. Dressed sort of funny he was, too nice for this place, an' he had this silly little bowtie. He kept callin' out that they'd made a mistake, that he was the doctor, not Simon, an' they should leave ev'ryone else alone."

"Of course," River said, chagrined. "So they took them both. Sontarans aren't big on initiative, they'd figure they can always kill later whichever one isn't right."

"They'll kill him?" Kaylee cried, alarmed. Tam was wide-eyed and fierce.

"No, don't worry," River reassured them. "The man in the bowtie was my friend, the Doctor, and he won't let anything happen to Simon."

"How can he do that?" asked Kaylee. "The took him same as Simon, with two guards and 'is hands behind his back. He don't even got a gun!"

"He doesn't need one," River replied surely.

"Kaylee," Tam interjected suddenly, "how come you're hurt? You said most of the people were still okay when they took Simon."

"A bomb," Kaylee answered, voice growing slightly faint. All the talking was wearing her out. "One of them whatcha-ma-call-ems, Sontarans, left it. Threw it in, said it'd be our glory to die, and walked out. He was hardly outta distance when it blew."

River got up and walked through the center of the room. She spotted an anachronistic shard of metal and picked it up, eying it closely.

"Looks like a C-12 Novabomb," she estimated. She turned back to the young women. "You shouldn't have survived this," she commented. "Nobody in this room should have."

"I think your Doctor might've done something to it," Kaylee suggested. "I saw him look back when the Sontaran was setting it, and he pointed somethin' at it, silvery and green-shiny. None of the Sontarans saw, but the bomb sort of clicked quieter."

"That sounds like him." River dropped the sliver of bomb and moved toward the shattered glass doors, adjusting her gun belt.

"Wait," said Tam, standing and stepping daintily over Kaylee.

"Wha—River, no!" Kaylee protested. She tried to push herself up from the wall, but slid back down with a whimper. Tam turned back.

"Kaylee, I have to go get Simon back," she said gently.

"Call the Cap'n," Kaylee argued. "Get him an' Zoe down here for help. I know you're you, River, but you can still be shot."

"No, Kaylee, sleep, and call Mal when you wake up, or get someone else to. Some of them should be up by then." Tam stood, gesturing to the other patrons, still unconscious or dead. "Don't worry, Doctor Song and I can handle it."

Kaylee did not look reassured, but he eyelids were fluttering closed in shock-induced exhaustion. River watched Tam closely. She knew she hadn't mentioned her newly acquired doctorate to the girl. She'd barely thought about it since meeting her. A psychic of that talent bore watching, especially in such an otherwise xenophobic environment.

"Are you coming?" she called. Tam finished tucking Kaylee's sleeping form under the remains of the tablecloth and crossed the room to River.

"One moment," she responded calmly. She leaned over the nearest body and quickly frisked it, rising with a double-barreled shotgun and a case of spare bullets. Expertly, she loaded the gun and clicked it. She smiled at River. "Now I'm ready. Would you like to draw yours?"

"Yes," River said, palming her gun in one hand. She looked out across the empty prairie and pointed at a path of crushed grass stretching into the distance, at a slight diagonal to the right. "Easy trail to follow. Sontarans aren't big on stealth."

Tam nodded confidently. "No, they'll prefer brute force." She glanced at River as if to make certain she was still there. "Then it's as your Doctor would say, 'Geronimo!'"

Guns ready, they began the hunt.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Nothing happened until they got into town. The Sontarans' path had cut across the plain to the main road, though River would hardly have called it that. It was a simple country lane, beaten to dust by horses' hooves and baked hard in the heat. Even the tread of heavy armored boots was barely discernible.

The road went on for almost a mile before reaching the town of Merliot, such as it was. It was chintzy and small, the buildings made of brightly-painted wood and covered in dust. Everything was quiet.

They kept walking straight on until they reached the center of town. At least, until they reached the first crossroads since the Inn. There were a couple scattered buildings by each side-road, but most still lined the lane River and Tam had been taking. There was still no sign of life.

"We should split up," River commented. "Check for civilians."

"Nobody's home," Tam said whimsically. "All gone away from the soldiers. Out to the country."

River looked at her askance. The girl was probably right, though perhaps not in the head. "Let's check a couple houses anyway," she suggested. She pointed to the left. "You take that side, I'll take this one."

"Okay," Tam replied willingly, and moved toward a short house with a red door.

River turned to her left and made for what she assumed was the General Store, based on a large clumsy sign out front declaring it "Tom's Goods". The door shrieked when she pushed it open, and she raised her handgun in response, half expecting an attack. None came, so she stepped in.

It was indeed a general store, one she judged did fairly good business. It was certainly a great deal cleaner than the outside, with a few reasonably advanced refrigeration units. These mostly held beer, with a couple wheels of cheese wedged hastily in one corner. But the store was empty of people. River fingered her gun uneasily.

Suddenly the front door squealed and flew open. "This area is under Sontaran command!" roared a stocky figure in blue and silver armor. "State your name and intent!"

River placed her pistol on the counter and raised her arms peaceably. His gun was a great deal bigger than hers. "River Song," she began. "I want to know––" She stopped. Tam was creeping up on the Sontaran from behind.

"Well?" the Sontaran demanded, poking his gun forward. "Continue, human."

"Oh, I'm not...quite..." River smiled playfully, then shouted, "Tam, duck!"

The Sontaran spun, but Tam had dodged even before he started firing. River seized her handgun from the counter and sent a quick alpha-meson burst down his probic vent. Aim was hardly necessary at such close range, and the Sontaran fell like a stone.

"'Bout time you got here," she called jokingly to Tam, stepping over the thick body.

"I'm sorry," the girl replied seriously, hair swinging forward over he face. "I didn't hear him at first. He was so dull."

River glanced up from pushing the downed Sontaran into the shop. There was no reason Tam should have heard the Sontaran––River hadn't, and he'd come straight for her––but she didn't think the girl was talking about sound.

"It's okay," she assured, giving the body a final kick and shutting the door. "You did fine." She turned around and scanned the empty street. "There'll be more coming, Sontarans always travel in groups."

The words were barely out of her mouth when three more Sontarans rounded the far corner of the nearest house.

"Get behind me!" River yelled, pointing her gun. "We have to hit the backs of their necks, there's a hole there."

Tam didn't hesitate. As the Sontarans spotted them and charged, Tam ran towards their raised guns and, with a small jump, somersaulted over their heads. All River had to do was watch as she landed gracefully on her feet and immediately struck out with her shotgun, slamming the rearmost Sontaran in the base of his neck. He crumpled, and before the other two could turn to face her, she hit one with a perfectly executed side kick, and downed the last with the other end of her gun, the end she hadn't used to hit the first.

"Impressive," River acclaimed with a nod. _Especially for a ninety-pound chick,_ she thought to herself. She went forward and crouched beside the prone bodies. Searching fingers found a release button on the first Sontaran's helmet and the visor slid back with a quick press.

"It looks like a potato," Tam commented in a mildly interested tone.

"That's what everybody says," River replied absently, checking the forehead pulse. There wasn't one.

"That one's dead," she said, scooting over to the second body. It one didn't have a pulse either. Only the third was merely unconscious.

"I'm sorry," Tam said penitently. "He turned around partway before I could hit him."

"No, it's good," River told her. "My friend, the Doctor, always squirms when I kill people anyway. It's a bad habit, he insists."

Tam smiled hesitantly.

"Besides," River added practically, "If he's dead, we can't interrogate him." She looked around. "Do we have anything to tie him with?" No sonic, or she could lock the armor in place.

"Here," said Tam, running over to a hitching post and grabbing a coil of rope. She jogged back and handed it to River. "Should we take off the suit?" she asked.

River let out a snicker. "Let's. It's a terrible dishonor for a Sontaran to be caught without armor."

"Also it'll be easier to tie," Tam pointed out innocently.

"That too," River replied, holding down the release button. The helmet peeled back completely and she began searching for the armor's magnetic fastenings.

Ten minutes later, the Sontaran was stripped to the skin and tied to the hitching post.

"How do they reproduce?" asked Tam, staring fascinated at the bare, leathery body.

"Cloning," River responded shortly. "Sontaran warriors are all clones, and all Sontarans are warriors."

There was silence for a moment as Tam digested this information.

"Will he wake up soon?" she asked, suddenly impatient again. "We have to find Simon."

River considered the unconscious alien, judging. "We'll have to give him a start," she decided, drawing her pistol. She turned a dial to the lowest setting.

"I'll just give him a shock," she explained to Tam. Almost gently, she lowed the muzzle to the Sontaran's forehead and pulled the trigger. There was a small flash and he jerked, eyes flying open. Then he started yelling.

"How dare you! I am Troop Leader Skrag of the Third Sontaran Battle Fleet, and I will avenge this indignity upon you until the life is crushed from your worthless human bodies and your bones are pulp fit only to be eaten by babes!"

"Again with the 'worthless human' insults," River chided calmly. "I know someone who would argue on behalf of humans with his dying breath. Repeatedly."

"Ha!" Skrag replied scornfully. "A human, no doubt. Weak. Unfit for battle."

River pointed at Tam, who was watching the conversation with interest. "She's human, and she just took out your entire squad in three moves." She didn't mention the Sontaran in the shop.

Skrag ignored this riposte. "Weak!" he bellowed, struggling against his bonds.

River rolled her eyes. "Sontarans" she mouthed exasperatedly to Tam. She faced Skrag. "The someone I just mentioned there, we're looking for him. His name is the Doctor, and I think you know where he is."

"And Simon!" Tam interjected.

The Sontaran's eyes bulged madly. "The Doctor will stand trial for his crimes against the Sontaran Empire, and he will be executed justly!" he shouted.

"We knew that already," River said, affecting boredom. She tapped her pistol idly against her leg, and watched out of the corner of her eye as Tam picked up her shotgun.

"See, I'm reasonable," she told the Sontaran coolly. "But my friend here," she gestured to Tam, now leveling her gun at Skrag's head, "well, she's very anxious to find her brother. So anxious she might be a little...hasty."

"I will not dirty my honor with talk, no matter how much you may torture me!" Skrag declared stubbornly.

River sighed dramatically. "I thought not." She turned to Tam, and asked, "Can you read anything off him?"

The girl concentrated fiercely on Skrag. "Onward," she said softly. "Down the road. But..." she shook her head, hair flying from her face. "I can't tell, it's too fuzzy."

"Fine." River swiftly yanked the Sontaran's head forward and chopped at the base of his neck. He fell unconscious once more. She stood and offered a hand down to Tam. "We need to get ready to fight or move. He said he was a Troop Leader, and all we took out was a squad. There'll be about twenty more on us, if we stay here. And they'll be expecting trouble. We were just lucky with those four."

Tam stood, settling her shotgun on her shoulder. "We should move forward and hit them before they expect it," she argued. "The more we take out before we find Simon and the Doctor, the better. And we'll be closer."

River nodded. "Good plan. We'll go at least to the edge of town, then see if there's more shelter farther down the road." She paused. "You're sure that's where they are?"

"Yes," Tam said confidently.

River shrugged. Tam was clearly some sort of psychic, however slightly nuts, and it wouldn't hurt anyone if they had to search a bit. Unless they were too late... But she dismissed that possibility.

"All right," she said with equal confidence. "To the end of town. Guns ready, though."

They both drew and moved on, leaving three dead Sontarans and Skrag still tied to the hitching post.

-{''}-

_A/N: None of it's mine, except the order the words are in. More excitement to come!_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

They decided to make their stand at a small shack half a mile down the road from town, across from a small copse of trees.

"I'll take the woods," River commanded, "you wait in the shed." She pointed towards the deteriorating building.

Tam nodded. "Shoot once they pass?"

"Yes. And stay low. They're Sontarans, they might just shoot everything they see."

The girl nodded again and went for the door. River waited until she was out of sight to go crouch in the trees, hiding in as much shade as the withered branches offered.

It wasn't long before a slightly shiny blotch appeared on the horizon. They were on the plateau flat now, away from the edge and the Falls, and River estimated the Sontarans were still at least two miles off. The only sound was a feeble breeze fluttering the leaves. River waited, gun ready, as the blotch grew larger and clearer. Soon, she could make out individual figures.

Suddenly, Tam yelped. River almost jumped up, but held herself still and silent as the girl burst out of the shed and sprinted across the road, flinging herself down beside River.

"What are you doing?" River hissed angrily. She glanced at the approaching Sontarans. There was movement in the ranks, shuffling to position.

"Too many!" Tam whispered frantically. "There are too many!"

"Not nearly," River responded fiercely. The girl couldn't hide in these trees, her pink dress would stick out like a sore thumb. But it was too late to move now. The Sontarans were almost within range for their lasers, but not River's or Tam's own weapons.

"Yes!" Tam cried quietly. "There are more, I heard them, from over there––" Her finger jabbed over her head, back toward the town. River half rose and turned around to peek between two trunks, just in time to see a second troop of Sontarans pulling to a halt and leveling their guns at the trees.

"Down!" Tam cried, pulling her flat to the dirt. A wave of fire ripped through the trees above their heads. Both women rolled to avoid falling branches. One old trunk broke completely in half.

"Damn it," River muttered as the din eased. "The full troop must have been around the town, and once they found Skrag they called for backup..." She groaned. "We've been played."

"Attention human females!" A rough voice hailed from the group they'd been planning to ambush. "We know you are there, you cannot hide from the might of the Sontaran Empire!"

River rolled her eyes. "Cannot hide from our scanners" was more like it. Dammit, the soldiers they'd taken in town hadn't had scanners!

The Sontaran continued: "You have fought well, and brought down mighty warriors. Come out in peace, without weapons, and you will be treated as prisoners of war."

"They're lying," River whispered to Tam. "Sontarans believe in honorable death for Sontarans, but they don't care so much about humans."

Tam didn't respond. She had abandoned her gun and had both hands pressed over her face, eyes squeezed shut and on the verge of tears. Sontarans' brains were dull and one-track, but that many minds fixated on killing...Tam was a fairly strong psychic, but inexperienced. No wonder she was breaking down.

"We will not surrender!" River called from her place on the ground, bluffing blindly. "We have many weapons far greater than your puny light show." Yes, like dry branches.

"You lie!" the Sontaran responded. "You have but one meson pistol, and a primitive powder weapon."

Dammit, they had _good_ scanners. River looked around frantically. Tam was out, might be able to pull it together but couldn't be depended on. They were surrounded by forty Sontarans, and all she had was a pistol and a shotgun. And some branches. She looked up, searching for inspiration. Sometimes at times like this, a blue box appeared...

There was a dot in the sky. A moving dot. It didn't feel like the Tardis, but it seemed to be getting bigger. River played for time.

"We have screening!" she yelled to the Sontarans. "You don't know how many of us there are, or how we are armed!"

"If you were a large force with great weaponry, you would not be stalling for your lives," the Sontaran replied logically.

River glanced up. The dot was bigger, definitely flying closer. It looked a bit like a large bird. Well, anything would help at this point.

Tam's eyes snapped open. "He's coming!" she breathed almost hysterically, pulling at River's sleeve. "Almost late, all out of time. But come to help. It'll all be okay now."

River's breath caught in her throat. If this was who she thought it was... The dot's shape was distinct now, it was definitely bird-like. She had to keep the Sontarans distracted.

"Be ready," she hissed to Tam, pushing her the shotgun. River palmed her handgun. "All right," she called, "We surrender! Our weapons are on the ground!" She started to stand, moving slowly towards the edge of the trees and keeping one eye on the sky. The Sontarans shifted and raised their guns, ready to shoot. Behind her, Tam was getting to her feet, shotgun in hand.

"Come out now!" the Sontaran yelled.

"Coming." River replied, taking a small step forward. "Just don't shoot!"

"We have said we will not!" the Sontaran said impatiently.

River was almost out of the copse now, standing strategically out of view behind a tree. Tam crouched just behind her. "Just moving slowly!" she answered in a friendly tone. "Don't want any mistakes." _Now would be a good time,_ she thought at no one in particular.

As if in response, there was a great predatory shriek from skyward. River ducked in sheer instinct, but there was no need. The creature that flew out of the sun swept straight through the nearest Sontarans, completely ignoring any movement in the trees. At the bottom of its dive it grabbed a struggling warrior, and dropped it among the troop on the other side of the trees on its way back up. A small grenade fell with it, and River leapt forward as the concussion shook the trees, dropping branches once more. Tam followed her into the crowd of disarrayed Sontarans, and both started shooting through the rising dust.

The bird-creature dived again, and this time machine gun fire from its back took out the scattering Sontarans. River was certain she heard gleeful whooping amid the blasts.

Tam had dropped her shotgun again and started hitting Sontarans conscious and not with a heavy branch. Despite the makeshift club, she still looked like a ballerina.

The creature flapped over to River, hopping awkwardly over the downed Sontarans. She recognized it now from old Earth history books: a pterodactyl, famed lizard-bird of the dinosaur age. A man slipped off it's back, clipping his semiautomatic onto the pterodactyl's saddle. He shrugged his greatcoat into place and held out a hand to shake.

"Captain Jack Harkness," he said with a come-hither grin. "And who are you?"

-{+}-

_A/N: Hope you liked it. It you have any really good (or really bad) ideas for innuendos you want in River Song and Jack's conversations, tell me in a review. Thanks for reading!_


	5. Chapter 5

_(A/N: So sorry this took so long. School&homework kicked into gear, and I wanted the dialogue to be just right. Only one more chapter, I think. Enjoy!)_

-{+}-

**Chapter 5**

"Jack!" River exclaimed gladly. She stowed her gun in its holster and shook his hand. He showed no sign of recognition, so she added, ""I'm River Song. I've met you, but––"

She didn't get a chance to finish the sentence. At the mention of her name, Jack's eyes widened in surprise and his hand plunged abruptly into a coat pocket. It came out with a small gun, circa 21st century Earth, which he pointed directly between her eyes. River raised her arms in surrender for the second time that day.

"I know that name," he said, voice tight. "You killed the Doctor." He grasped the gun in both hands, planted his feet and flipped off the safety. "Give me one good reason not to shoot you right now."

Tam, with a previously-unappreciated talent for dramatic timing, burst out of the trees, where she'd been checking the other Sontarans and leveled the shotgun at Jack's head. "Stop it," she commanded. "Everyone here is friends."

"Oh yeah?" Jack said cynically. "This lady _killed_ my friend. Or she will, which means all the better to shoot her now. And believe me, she'll die before I do."

River rolled her eyes. Always with the cryptic comments. At least she had a good reason to not tell people things.

"Tam, it's okay, he's telling the truth, he can't die. And he won't shoot me anyway."

"Why not?" Jack demanded, gun pointed unwaveringly at her forehead.

"I was trying to tell you," River said patiently. "I've met you, but you haven't met me. It's time travel. You're backwards in Time to me, just like the Doctor."

Jack's hands tightened. "What do you mean, "backwards?" You kill him. I saw the Tessalecta Justice Department files."

"You and I are traveling in opposite directions in Time, relative to each other. When I first met you, in a bar on one of the Ceta Moons, you knew me but I didn't know you." She smiled wickedly. "We had a great night." (No need to mention she'd stolen his vortex manipulator, that'd be counterproductive at the moment, and he's gotten it back. Eventually.)

"You're lying."

"No, I'm not." River searched her brain for bits of half-forgotten conversation. "You told me about Earth, Cardiff, Torchwood." She snorted. "No wonder you wouldn't shut up. Could have mentioned I needed to pay attention to tell you later. I was half-drunk, you know. You weren't, you can't be. It was unfair."

Jack seemed taken aback, but he rallied. "You could have gotten that out of my bio in any decent Time Library, or stealing old government files. I'm sure you'd have no moral objection."

She smiled. "You have a point there, sugar. Why don't you ask Tam? River Tam. She's a psychic, Level C at least. We've only just met."

"Yeah?" Jack looked at Tam, though his gun didn't waver from River's head. "You know what I'm thinking right now?"

Tam gave a disapproving frown. "That's rude," she informed him. Jack's line of thought must have proceeded interestingly, because she added wistfully, "Oh, he looks nice," before abruptly breaking into tears and lowering her gun.

"Careful!" River scolded, "She's fragile."

Jack shook his head as if to clear it. "Hey, get out of there," he said, somewhere between firm and shaken. "That's private." His face had darkened, but his gun was less steady.

Realization hit River. "Oh, that was Ianto, wasn't it? You talked about him. He just...Jack, I'm sorry." She seemed to have said the right thing, because he didn't resist her pat on the shoulder. At least, he shrugged it off, but didn't shoot her.

"I'm fine," he said roughly. He raised his gun again. "Hand over that pistol, and I'll give you a chance."

River handed it over without complaint, and Jack stowed in in his other pocket, looking faintly surprised. "I haven't anything else" she said.

"Great, so can we go find Simon and the Doctor now?" Tam asked, back on task.

Jack shot River a suspicious glare. "Find the Doctor?"

She rolled her eyes again and sighed. "It's complicated. I didn't kill him, we got married. It's a really long story, trust me." Jack looked skeptical, but he'd put his gun away. River continued, "he got himself captured by Sontarans, along with this one's brother"––she gestured to Tam––"and we're on our way to find them." Jack hadn't stopped glaring, so she added impatiently, "Look, I can't kill him while you have my gun, can I?" (She could, but no need to mention that either.)

Jack nodded reluctantly. "All right. But I'm coming."

"Excellent," Tam declared crisply. River and Jack looked up in surprise. Somehow, in the last four seconds the girl had mounted the pterodactyl. "Let's go!"

Jack shot River a look plain as day asking, _Does she do this often?_

She raised an eyebrow. "I can't vouch for her stability, but she's certainly determined to find her brother."

"'Tam', huh?" Jack muttered absently. "River Tam, brother Sherman?"

"Simon," Tam called from above.

They started.

"Whispering is rude!" the girl yelled. "What's her name?"

"Who's name?" asked Jack.

Tam sighed exasperatedly. "The pteranodon, what's her name?"

"She's a pterodactyl."

"No, she's a pteranodon, a subspecies of pterodactyloids from the late Cretaceous period."

"Okay" Jack replied bemusedly. "Her name's Myfanwy. It's Welsh."

"That sounds right." Tam nodded appreciatively. She sat up straight and tapped the pteranodon's sides with her heels. "Gid-yup, Myfanwy!" she called in a clear voice.

Myfanwy raised her head from the Sontaran she'd been sniffing and shrieked. Jack and River jumped backwards as she flapped her wings and lifted into the air. River could hear Tam's high, genuine laughter as the pteranodon soared over the trees and up towards the scattered clouds.

Jack stared dumbstruck after them. "She stole my pterodactyl!"

River tried not to laugh at his outraged surprise. "No, she stole your pteranodon."

Jack pointed at the sky. "Whatever, she just stole my ride! My faithful mount!"

"That's your 'faithful mount'?" River smirked. "Boy, you _have_ been lonely."

"Hey," Jack protested halfheartedly. He didn't seem to have a better comeback, because he just scanned the sky and asked, "Where did she go?"

"How should I know," River began, but a sudden rush of wind cut her off. A huge claw seized her from behind and lifted into the air. Myfanwy shrieked loudly just above her head.

"Stop yelling, we have to go!" Tam shouted from overhead. Jack was trying to twist around, but River stayed intelligently still. They were gaining hight with every belabored flap, and why run away from all the action? For extra security she reached up and grasped the leg.

Jack was still struggling. "Put us down," he called to Tam. "You don't know how to work the anti-grav boosters! We'll all fall!"

"Just augment the flaps and maintain a -3 body weight!" the girl cried brightly. "It's easy!"

River grinned as Jack groaned. "She's a quick learner," she informed him. She called to Tam, "But it's a bit uncomfortable down here, Tam, won't the anti-grav work just as well if we're all up top?"

"Oh, sure!" came the reply. "You should have said." Myfanwy began descending in a slow spiral.

The pteranodon dropped River and Jack a couple feet off the ground, and they rolled to clear a landing space. Tam slid down gracefully and helped River to her feet.

"Okay ladies, let's be more organized this time," Jack instructed, rounding Myfanwy's head. "I'll go up first, River Song behind me, and River Tam behind her." He pointed at each woman, then at the pteranodon, but all three ignored him.

"Poor Jack, you made him feel less Captainly," River teased to Tam. The girl smiled.

"Hey, it's not every day I get to rescue two such lovely ladies from a life-threatening situation," Jack argued playfully. "I have to keep this thing up."

"I'm sure you'll manage," said River drily.

Jack bowed. "Ladies first." He swept a hand towards the saddle.

"Are you sure you don't just want to keep me in your sight?"

"For more reasons than one, River Song," Jack replied cockily. He lunged forward and hoisted her to the saddle. "There you go." He clambered on in front. "Hands on my hips."

"Whatever you say." She leaned forward and hugged him around the waist. Behind her, Tam jumped up and lightly held the back of River's belt.

"Let's go!" the girl said impatiently.

"I hate to disappoint a beautiful woman," Jack answered gallantly. "Up, Myfanwy!"

The pteranodon kept nibbling at a grass clump. Jack looked back at Tam in mixed irritation and exasperation. "Gid'yup, Myfanwy?"

Myfanwy reared and took off without a complaint. "Fine," River could hear him mutter, "ignore the man who saved you from an exploded cavern in 21st century Wales. Just listen to the first pretty girl that comes along."

"No wonder you get along so well, " she commented.

"Hey, I'd listen to myself," he protested. "The sparks from the same person touching themselves at a different point in their time-stream only make it more interesting."

"Bear more southwest," Tam called from behind.

Jack grumbled and tugged the reins. "Stop backstreet driving."

"Go the right way," Tam retorted helpfully.

A red burst of laser shot by River's head, narrowly missing Myfanwy. She jerked and looked around as the pteranodon dived. Two flying, silvery blocks were closing in, one on each side.

"We must be going somewhere right, those are Sontaran perimeter drones!" She ducked as the other drone fired and Myfanwy swerved.

"Hold up," Jack yelled, pulling at the reins. "Calm down, girl!"

"Let her dodge and start shooting!" River took her own advice and leveled her pistol at the rightward drone. Unfortunately, Myfanwy turned again at just the wrong moment and her shot only grazed the metal side. It was enough for the drones' coordinated defense system though, and both started pealing alarms and doubled their fire, jerking around too quickly for River to land a shot.

"How'd you get that gun?" Jack cried, still yanking the reins. "I took it from you!"

"And I took it back!" River called, ducking again. "You should really watch your pockets when you lift girls onto your pteranodon."

Jack swore and dropped the reins as Myfanwy suddenly veered upward.

"Can I help?" Tam asked interestedly from behind, still holding lightly to River's belt. The erratic swerves didn't seem to faze her.

"Well somebody got them too excited to hit," Jack said pointedly, twisting around to glare at River. "So no, unless you think you can kick them out of the air."

"Jack," River said suddenly, leaning close to be heard over the drones' alarms. "We're flying on anti-grav, right? A pterodactyl this size can't weigh more than fifty pounds. She couldn't carry you alone, much less all of us."

"Yeah, my anti-grav's not strong enough to work without a base, so she's it." He leaned down as Myfanwy made a particularly odd jerk. River followed suit.

"So we're only weightless relative to her?"

"Yes. But if you hadn't noticed, we're under fire, so maybe now's not the best time to ask about engineering!"

"But if you didn't need it to be sustained, you could fix it on something else, baseless?"

"Yes!" He was trying to aim at the drones, but they and Myfanwy were both moving too fast.

River glanced at Tam, who seemed for all the worlds to be riding a horse, swaying calmly with the motion of flight. She turned back to Jack. "What are our coordinates?"

"What?"

"Our space-time coordinates! You have a vortex manipulator, so where-when are we?"

He fumbled for his wrist. "1000.5-19-67! How does this help?" Myfanwy bucked, and River twisted to keep balance.

"Think you can take that?" she asked Tam, gesturing to one of the drones. The girl looked at it seriously, then back at River, and nodded. "I trust you."

"Thanks," River said, turning to Jack and grabbing his wrist.

"Hey!" he protested.

She ignored him, concentrating on the wristband's screen. She gave it a few selective taps and pushed it against her gun, aligning the systems. Thank god for synchronized technology.

Myfanwy shuddered and dropped a couple feet.

"What are you doing?" Jack shouted.

"Do you trust me?" she yelled in his ear.

"No!"

"That's fine, you can't die anyway!" His feet had fallen out of the stirrups as some point––good, that made it easier. "When I say 'jump', jump!"

"What?" Jack yelled.

"Trust me!" She turned and carefully aimed the gun at Tam, who was somehow crouching on the pteranodon's back, barely holding on. Her other arm held Jack around the waist.

"I don't!" He tried to wriggle out of her grasp without falling.

"I don't care! Jump!" River squeezed the trigger and tumbled back, pulling Jack with her.

The fall was quick but dizzying. She fell backwards, looking up at the reeling sky. Myfanwy flew past the sun. casting a momentary shadow, and the drones' fire seemed far away. Jack pushed away from her in midair, yelling.

Then they landed on a mattress.


	6. Chapter 6

_Clarifying note: For Jack, this is after Children of Earth but before Ten sets him up with Alonso. Penultimate chapter!_

_-{+}-_

**Chapter 6**

River rolled as she landed, off the mattress and onto the dust. She sprang to her feet and swung her pistol up at one of the drones, which was hovering confusedly directly overhead. Now that there was steady ground beneath her feet, her shot was dead on. Both blasts hit the block's firing mechanism, and it exploded into burning shrapnel. River ducked and covered her head.

"What the hell is going on?" Jack demanded, struggling to push himself up from the mattress.

"Just roll off," she instructed breezily. "It's a Hypnotian Quicksand Mattress. The more you press on it, the deeper you sink." She stood, walked around to his feet, and pulled him off.

"What was that for?" he sputtered, scrambling to his feet and brushing dust off his jacket.

"Helping."

Jack glared and fumbled for his pocket.

"Looking for this?" she asked innocently, holding up his gun. He gaped at her. "You should also watch your pockets when girls pull you off your pteranodon."

"Give me that!"

"Are you going to shoot me? I'd hate to get into an argument now."

"I was thinking about it! You almost got us killed, and I saw you shoot that girl!"

River sighed impatiently. "Please keep up, Captain. I asked for the space-time coordinates so that once we find the Doctor, we can come back here about an hour ago and leave a mattress. If it worries you so, here." She tossed him the gun and began pacing off to the nearest cactus. It'd be awfully inconvenient to put the mattress too far to the left.

Jack caught the gun in one hand, but didn't put it away. "And the girl?"

"She's fine." River pointed up to the second drone, which was zigzagging frantically above their heads, slowly getting lower. This was mainly due to the way Tam was sitting astride it and methodically pounding the metal with the butt of her shotgun.

Jack took this in for a moment. "Nice form."

"Oh, shut up," River scolded warmly.

"Make me." He smirked, still watching Tam.

"You'd have to buy me dinner first."

"It's always 'work, work, work' with you," he shrugged. She punched him in the shoulder.

"Oh, shut up."

"Both of you stop it," Tam scolded, jumping down in front of them. Her beaten drone continued onward until it ran into the ground, throwing up a cloud of dust and sparks. She pirouetted and swung the shotgun over her shoulder. "We still haven't found Simon."

"Stays on track, doesn't she," commented Jack. "You know, we do have a great mattress here. We could take a break." His jaunty gesture toward the Quicksand died under Tam's quelling stare. "Or not."

River shielded her eyes from the sun with one hand and scanned the horizon. "Sontarans generally don't station drones more than a couple clicks from whatever they're using as base, so we should be close."

Tam spun again, slowly this time. "I don't see anything."

"They could be cloaking it," River remarked. "We'd do best with an aerial view."

"Okay!" Tam threw back her head and shrieked at the sky. There was a faint answering screech from above, and Myfanwy flew down, neatly avoiding the mattress.

"I have a homing beacon on this thing, you know," Jack said, holding up his wrist with the vortex manipulator. "I press a button and she comes back."

"But it's much more fun to call," Tam explained, climbing onto the pteranodon's back.

"Hey, slow down," Jack ordered, checking his wristband. "I have to make sure the anti-grav's back online." He patted Myfanwy's flank and frowned at River. "What did the mean lady do to your systems?"

She rolled her eyes. "I channeled control to my pistol and gave Tam a boost tothe fight the drone. It's back to normal now."

"Can't be too careful," replied Jack, still pressing buttons. "I use this anti-grav for more than flying. It's positively integral to Space Rolling."

"What's 'Space Rolling'?" Tam asked innocently.

"You don't want to know," River told her strictly. She seized Jack's wrist and tried to pull him after her into the saddle.

"No, wait, listen," he said, yanking his hand away. "I don't––I don't want to rescue the Doctor."

"What?" River was outraged.

"No! I mean, I do, of course. I just don't want to see him. I don't want him to see me. I did something––I saved the Earth, but I had to––I killed a, my...somebody who should have been off limits. It was my fault in the first place, and I saved everyone but him. And...Ianto."

"Oh, Jack," River slid off Myfanwy's back and laid a hand on his shoulder. "He'll forgive you, you know."

"I know," Jack said roughly. "And I don't want it. Not now."

"I know how you feel." She stepped back. "We can take Myfanwy ourselves. I'll send her back when we find them."

"Steal my ride again, huh?" He managed a small smile. "Fine." He tapped his wristband. "But if I don't get her back in half an hour, I'm calling her home. With you or not."

Then come in after us, River added mentally. Fake it though you like, you were never a coward.

"Jack Harkness, imposing a curfew?" she quipped aloud. "Never thought I'd see the day."

"Just go," he said, pushing her onto Myfanwy's back. "I'll walk. The two of you will be helpless without me anyway."

She smiled and got on.

"Can we go?" asked Tam.

River answered by tapping her heels on the pteranodon's sides. "Gid'yup!" She was rewarded with a flap of wings and rush of air, and they were off. Tam waved to Jack as he receded to a speck below.


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: Last chapter! Thank you to everyone who reviewed, favorited, etc., and my amazing beta Anita, whose alternate identity is **rattyjol** on LiveJournal, where she also writes fics, and yes, that was a shameless plug. If I owned the copyright, it wouldn't be fanfiction. Read, enjoy, and, as always, please review! They make me happy!_

**^('.')^**

**Chapter Seven**

"We'll dive straight into a frontal assault," Tam declared. They were flying in tight circles, high above the ground. "We go in with guns, and Myfanwy stays outside to guard our back."

"Me first," River added. She squinted down at the slight shimmer of air that revealed the Sontarans' cloaked ship. They'd nearly flown past it at first, but Tam had seen it when they climbed to avoid a drone.

"Okay, you know where the door is."

River nodded. The least-shielded point on a Sontaran battleship was always the door, so the entrance should be just under that shimmer. "Ready?" She set her pistol to 'stun', in case they found the Doctor before the shooting stopped. He got ever so cross.

"Ready." Tam clicked the safety off her double-barreled shotgun and leaned forward. Myfanwy flung herself into a sharp dive.

It was exhilarating to fall so fast, almost as good as Vortex travel without a capsule. Behind her, Tam was laughing again.

Suddenly a huge metal sphere appeared and rocketed past them, tumbling Myfanwy sideways in a cloud of exhaust. She landed clumsily, and River leapt down, gun ready.

"Simon!" Tam called happily, sliding off the pteranodon and running towards a handsome young man standing not three yards away. Next to him was the Doctor, shaking his finger at the departing Sontaran ship.

"And don't come back––oh, hello, River." He broke off his tirade and turned toward her. Between them, Tam gave a small gasp and crumpled.

"River!" the young man cried, rushing forward.

The Doctor got there first, kneeling beside the fallen girl and carefully turning her face-up. "Don't worry, Simon, I'm sure she's okay." He pulled the sonic screwdriver out of his pocket and gave her a quick scan, checking the readings with a practiced flip of the wrist. "She's a psychic?"

"Level C at least," River chimed in, stowing her gun in its belt. It wouldn't be needed now. "I don't know what a Level C is doing here, but she's not lost."

The Doctor cocked an eyebrow. "Curious."

Simon was still looming anxiously. "Is she all right? She doesn't normally faint."

"No, no, she's fine," the Doctor waved him off. "Meet River, by the way. The other River. River Song. River, this is Simon."

"Hello," she said politely, still watching the Doctor and Tam. So was Simon.

The Doctor tucked the sonic back in his pocket and leaned close to Tam's face, gently bumping foreheads. "Hello, River. Sorry if I came on a bit strong there."

Tam opened her eyes calmly, as if waking from a particularly satisfactory nap. "Doctor. You're bigger on the inside." Her tone was of one of pleasant surprise, like finding a forgotten but fresh chocolate hiding under the sofa.

"Stay out of there, you." He jumped to his feet, then offered her a hand up. "It's too busy."

"I'm sorry," she said meekly, going to stand beside Simon.

There was a shriek of strained metal and a small jetcar dropped out of the sky, nearly crushing Myfanwy. She screamed back and jumped into the air.

"Bye, Myfanwy!" called Tam, waving. "Say 'bye' to Jack for me!"

The pteranodon screeched once and wheeled around, flying back towards the mattress.

"Gwai gwai long duh dong, what is going on here?" A tall man in a dusty collared shirt and spurred boots jumped off the jetcar. "What was that?"

"I think that was a pterodactyl, sir." commented the woman who followed him down. River noted that she had a very nice carbine, carried with the casual experience of a soldier.

"I did not sign up for pterodactyls," warned the man jokingly.

River raised an expectant eyebrow, but Tam didn't launch into an explanation of pteranodon genealogy. Instead she sidled over to River and whispered in her ear. "Ancient history bothers him. Sometimes it's best to just let him have his way."

"Like a toddler?" River murmured back.

Tam stifled a giggle. "Only a little."

Meanwhile, the Doctor had run over to greet the new arrivals. "Mal!" he shouted joyfully, pausing on the brink of a hug.

The man held out a wary hand. "Do I know you?"

The Doctor shook his hand energetically. "Oh, right, new face, sorry. I'm the Doctor. We met, remember? In a bar on New Canaan. I was wearing a brown coat, and there was a... thing, but I helped Kaylee fix the engine and we got away."

"Doctor," the man replied, respectful but no less wary. "So you really do change your face."

"Whole body, actually," the Doctor clarified. He half-skipped sideways and seized the woman's hand. "And the lovely Zoe! How's Wash? Still juggling geese?"

Behind River, Tam gave a small squeak. The Doctor swiveled to look at her, surprised, then back at Zoe. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize..." He trailed off.

Zoe extricated her hand from his grip, still deadpan. "It's been a while."

There was an awkward silence, then something clicked in River's brain. "Oh, you're Malcolm Reynolds!" She shook Mal's surprised hand. "Sorry, Captain Reynolds. Hero of the Unification War!"

"What?" Mal grabbed his hand back. "Doctor, you travel with crazy folk now?" He glanced at Tam, and amended, "not that a little crazy is so bad."

Tam grinned.

"No, no, sorry," the Doctor gesticulated randomly. "River, we're still pre-Reformation. Nobody likes them yet. Simon hasn't even been back to Sihnon, much less elected––"

"What?" Simon, and Mal demanded simultaneously.

River smiled at the Doctor's strained expression. "Time travel," she explained.

Tam nodded knowingly, but the other humans still looked flummoxed. "The Doctor and River Song are from our future," added the girl. "We're history to them. But we can't ask about it, or we could change what's supposed to happen."

"Exactly," said the Doctor, pleased as if he'd just explained it himself. "No questions."

Mal and Zoe glanced at each other in exasperation.

"I'd say he's the same guy," said he.

"Yep," she replied neutrally. "If that's settled, we should probably be getting back to Kaylee and Jayne. Who knows what else he's broke by now."

Mal nodded, and hoisted himself back onto the jetcar. "Doc, River––"

Simon, Tam, and the Doctor all started forward.

" 'Course you can have a ride, too, Doctor," Mal added. "And Ms. Song."

The Doctor glanced at River. "We'll walk," she answered for the two of them.

Mal nodded. "Be seeing you, then."

"Good-bye, River Song!" hollered Tam, waving. "Good-bye, Doctor!" The jetcar roared to life and rose off the ground, but River could still hear the girl calling. "Don't worry, he'll come back!"

"What?" the Doctor shouted after her. River would never tell him, but he was cute when he was confused.

The jetcar was still within hearing, but Tam's only reply was to lean over Mal's shoulder and honk the horn four times.

"Who do you think she was talking about?" asked River.

"I'm not sure," replied the Doctor. He looked like he didn't know whether to be very pleased or extremely worried.

River sighed. Classic Rule One, but she wouldn't push it now. Instead, she offered him an arm, crooked at a right angle. "Shall we start walking, then? It's only a couple miles."

He snaked his arm around hers until it was her hand on his elbow, like a proper Victorian lady. "By all means, Miss Song."

They smiled at each other and started walking after the jetcar. There was always time to spare.

...

"By the way, Doctor, do we have a mattress in the Tardis?" He really was adorable when he was nonplussed.


End file.
